Things I Don’t Have Time For

Lots going on.  Let’s get to my list of…

Things I don’t have time for

You got time?  Maybe you can take up beading.  Me?  I’m a very important, very busy, incredibly time-constrained professional maverick data analyst middle-aged first-time social activist with a husband, kids, a dog, a full time job, aging parents, and a mortgage that needs care and feeding.  Lots of balls in the air.  Here’s what I don’t have time for this week.

You, whining

I always make time for to help friends and family with their problems, both physical and mental.  I’m talking about real problems.  You’re rich, young, and healthy, but the pizza man didn’t smile at you?  Next.

Long email threads

Email, Slack, IM – too much chatter already.  You want my response?  Here’s how the message should go:  Time/Place: Sunday, 2 pm, my living room.  Status: Meet rain or shine.  Topic: saving civilization as we know it.  Your email header says “PLEASE READ THIS WHOLE ENTIRE EMAIL” ? No time, friend.  You’ve now been demoted to spam.

Net Neutrality

Sure, it’s important.  I guess.  On my “devoting my time to making things better” list, didn’t even make the top 100.

Full Services

You expect me to combine the skills of a competent chef with full housekeeping and concierge services?  Maybe you should live at a hotel.  Fortunately, my family got this one down pat.

Chains

There’s always time for chocolate and champagne, or ale and cheese sticks.  I can go either way.  You want to wait 45 minutes for a table at the Olive Garden or – even more horrible – Applebees? For deep-fried flavor-free rods of … I’m guessing reconstituted yeast protein…?  Oh no no no, my former dinner date.  This will not fly.

Jargon

If, during the course of a meeting, you tell me that the TLAs are SOL, I’m going to be asking for full syllables before leaving the table.  If you start talking about “optics”, well, my mind has just mentally filed you in the drawer for “hopeless bureaucrat” and set a reminder to dazzle with smoke and mirrors later, and moved on to other matters.

Dry Cleaning

If I can’t throw it in the sudsy washer, spin dry, then hang it in the shower, it’s not in my wardrobe…or at least, it’s not in my wardrobe for long.

Getting from Morningside Heights to Yorkville

Let’s see….the 1 to the 7 to the 6?  Maybe the A to the C to the crosstown bus?  I could get to Paris in the same amount of time, so….no.

This Blog

See ya next week!

 

 

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