Easy Answers to Hard Questions

I love easy answers to hard questions. You will too, when you understand how simple things are with Jane’s new feature…

“Easy Answers to Hard Questions”

 Does everything happen for a reason?

Events always have a cause. This is different from having a “reason”.

What’s the cause of your foot being in a cast? Because a taxi ran it over.

What was the cause of a taxi running over your foot? Because you were texting on the corner of 37th and Fifth and just blindly followed the person in front of you (me) against the light instead of actually looking at the traffic yourself.

Every foot injury happens for a reason.

But what’s the reason? The reason is that God is trying to give you a message. Maybe God wants you to take responsibility for your own actions. Maybe, God’s telling you to watch out for taxis. Or maybe the divine message is to stay home in Bavaria where people always wait for the light, instead of hauling your Eurotrash ass across the Big Pond to plague New York City. Your guess is as good as mine in that department.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

That depends on how you define “make a sound”. If you mean waves progressing through the atmosphere from a point of impact, then the answer is yes. It would make as much sense as asking “if the wind is making waves on the lake and you’re not standing there watching it, are there still waves on the lake?”

Waves are waves, whether through liquids or gases. However, if you define sound as “waves that enter your ear and impinge upon your eardrum, causing your auditory nerve to send a message to your brain,” then, no.

Half full
Is the glass half full or half empty?

Did you just pour the drink into the glass, or did you just chug out of it? Things exist in time as well as space, you know.

Definitely half empty.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

The egg. Something that had not quite evolved into a chicken laid an egg, which contained

Try making nuggets out of THIS guy.

an embryo that had genes that grew it into a chicken. If you go far enough back in time, that “something” was a cousin of the T. Rex. (I’m not lying). If you didn’t take biology in High School, check out the Khan academy to get up to speed.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

If you’re clapping it against someone else’s hand, it sounds just like regular clapping. If you’re clapping it against someone else’s head, it makes a kind of dull thumping noise. If you’re just waving it about in the air and calling that “clapping”, then it makes a soft

Also the sound of one hand clapping.

whooshing sound. If, like me, you define “clapping” as an activity that only 2 hands can do, then I have a question right back at you: if “it” can rain and snow, why can’t “you” rain and snow?

Did you open the window?

Yes. It’s 95 degrees inside this apartment.

Are you crazy?

Well, I married you, so it’s a matter of opinion.

Do you want to kill me?

Only if you close the window.

But it’s freezing outside!

Yes, but it’s 95 degrees inside.

And that concludes…”easy answers to hard questions”. Catch you next time!

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